It has be 12 years since my grandmother died. I really cannot believe it has been so long. It seems like it was just a few years ago. At this stage of loss I no longer cry when the day that we lost my Granny comes and goes. I still miss her and my heart aches so much. 12 years! Wow!
I got to spend 22 great years with Granny. She was a very inspirational person in my life. To say she struggled with hardship in her lifetime is an understatement. However, Granny was full of love. Especially for her grandchildren.
I remember growing up and going over to her house for visits. We would bake, work with her in the garden, and even visit her at her work. She was your typical grandmother. To me and my sisters and brother, Granny was special to us.
Unfortunately due to illness and living far away, I never got to really know my other grandmother (my mother’s mom). Granny was the grandmother that was close and she tried to spend as much time with us as possible. My mom talks about how we would call Granny to see if we could come over and not even ask her or my dad first. Of course Granny always said yes.
Granny was always supportive of what me and my siblings wanted. I remember when Michael and I got married at the Justice of the Peace and did not tell my parents. She was the first one I called. I still remember what she said, “is it what you want and does he make you happy?” She said that was all that mattered.
We lost her suddenly of congestive heart failure. That day we were suppose to go over to her house and put together a Halloween gingerbread house. Even at 21, I would still do those kind of things with her. One of my sisters couldn’t make it so we put it off until another day, but that day did not come.
That weekend was a hard weekend for me and Michael. He was very fond of Granny as well. Michael’s mom had a heart attack the Friday before. That Sunday night when my sister called me, Michael and I were sitting down and playing dominoes. We always played with Granny when we visited her. She loved to play dominoes. Two days after Michael almost lost his mom, we lost Granny.
The next few weeks are a bit blurry still, but she had a beautiful funeral with lots of people there. She was very much loved by many, many people. It was hard knowing that she was not around any more. Wanting to go see her, but not being able to. Every year I would cry the hardest on the anniversary of her death. I cried really hard when my first child was born and I knew Granny was not there in the moment with us.
As the years have gone by, I do not cry as much, but like I said earlier, the ache is still there. Michael and I were talking the other day about how much of a kick Granny would have gotten out of all of these great-grandchildren she has now. It is really hard knowing that they have never got to meet such a special women in my life.
So here I am, 12 years latter. Remembering my wonderful grandmother, my Granny. Loss of a family member is hard. Recovery from the loss is long, but it does get better. Now I can enjoy my memories with my grandmother without the crying. Now I can pass on what she has taught me and the traditions that we shared with my children. No matter what, she is and forever will be a part of my life.
Until next time…